Migraine Aura

wow, double meaning, what a writer

1. Am I Going Blind?

2 o’clock yesterday, I thought I was.

See, I was a pretty neurotic little kid, and I’ve got an ophthalmologist for a mom, so I developed a bit of a complex when it comes to blindness.

Specifically, sun blindness. Because, as it turns out, you don’t go blind right away. It takes a day or two: your vision gradually gets blurry and distorted, and you might not really know what’s going on until you totally lose your sight.

So now I have this nasty habit of assuming that any time my eyes go a little blurry, I probably was staring at the sun a day ago, forgot about it, and am about to go blind. Not good!

Yesterday was one of those times. I couldn’t see well out of the periphery of my left eye—I kept looking further and further left, but it was too blurry, and I was getting dizzy, even nauseous.

A friend had the good sense to realize this was a bit more serious than my usual kvetching about back pain, and took me outside for a moment to breathe the fresh air, which helped. My peripheral vision came back into focus.

I concluded that the school’s air was probably just filled with blindness-causing poison, and drove home.

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2. Is My Brain On Fire?

Twenty minutes later, I pulled into the garage with a splitting headache. Stumbled through the door, took two Advils, and collapsed on the couch.

I feel most of my headaches in the front of my skull, usually on the left—these happen often and consistently enough that I know what causes them (not drinking water) and how to fix them (drink water).

But this was a different beast. Pain pounded out from the bottom of my occipital lobe.¹ I could talk and walk just fine, but lifting my head too quickly would make my whole skull throb.

Migraine! It’d been a while.

I stayed on the couch, found a way to lie still, and tried to keep myself distracted watching Funny People.²

Well, I told my mom about all this—ophthalmologist, remember—and she got excited and told me that my weird-eye-thing was probably a prodromal symptom.

I looked it up, it was, and they call it “migraine aura.”

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3. I Got Mad Migraine Aura

Migraines blur your vision out a bit—in my case, they made everything a little brighter and distracting and hard to focus on.

They also often make it feel like the world is spinning, or like you have butterflies in your stomach. Some studies have even found that they can take your breath away.

All this is to say: migraines seem directionally equivalent to rizz.

So ladies, get yourself a man that makes you feel like you’re experiencing a mysterious complex neurological episode. Get yourself a man with migraine aura.

This is what true love looks like

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Lukethoughts

• “People should floss more don’t u think.” (Ed. note: No, shut up.)

• “Dental care it’s important.” (Ed. note: I’m like 95% sure it’s all a scam, but yeah, whatever, you do you.)

1. I learned a new word today!

Here’s the super cool and not creepy picture I found when I googled “parts of the head:”

weird source

2. I’m sort of on a Seth Rogen kick, and I’ll be damned if I let a migraine get in the way.

Funny People actually just sucks, though. It’s way too long, and would’ve been better if Adam Sandler died.